


Shipwars

by kusege



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Multi, Sharing Clothes, Tumblr, christine you dramatic bitch, i wrote this three months ago kill me, jenna has a tumblr fight me, why did i write this i dont even remember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 03:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13650216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusege/pseuds/kusege
Summary: Jenna browses the gossip tag on tumblr... and makes a great discoveryedit: now has art





	Shipwars

**Author's Note:**

> just take this garbage

It began as a normal lunch period. The Play Squad (because Jeremy had outright refused to have the supercomputer’s name anywhere  _ near _ their friendgroup) was sitting around their usual table. Rich and Jake were having some pointless argument over the proper method of applying hair gel (“You can’t just push globs of it into your hair, Rich, you have to use a comb,”) Jeremy and Michael were watching some YouTube video, Michael’s chin resting on Jeremy’s head. Christine, Brooke, and Chloe were debating the effectiveness of stage makeup as opposed to normal concealer (“But it takes so much powder to set!” “Yeah, but it hides hickeys better than anything else I’ve ever used, Brooke!” “It doesn’t take  _ that _ much to set it. I’ve been using it for years,”) and Jenna was scrolling through tumblr posts tagged with #gossip. Then, a picture caught her eye. She looked at it, trying to figure out if she was right.

 

Was that  _ Christine _ in the picture?

 

Jenna clicked through to the blog, staring dumbfounded as she scrolled through post after post, reading note after note and tag after tag, there was  _ no way this was real _ .

 

She couldn’t help it. Jenna began to giggle, catching everyone’s attention as she did. The giggling quickly intensified into laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe. “I can’t fucking believe this,” she got out through her laughter, already typing out a message to her network to see if anyone had any info.

 

“Can’t believe what?” Brooke asked, starting to get concerned.

 

“ _ You _ ,” Jenna said, pointing to Christine, “are currently the hot topic of gossip on the internet.”

 

“Me?” Christine asked, looking confounded. “Why?”

 

“Because,” Jenna held out her phone for Christine to see. “People are taking bets on which one of us you’re dating.”

 

“What?” Jeremy asked, top of his head hitting Michael’s chin as he looked up suddenly. Michael cursed quietly, but also started paying attention.

 

“Yeah, someone started a tumblr page dedicated to figuring out which one of the seven of us Christine is dating,” Jenna stated. “It has at least 400 followers, based on the average note count, and the flamewars are  _ insane _ .”

 

Michael stared at her, dumbfounded, before quietly saying “They... they know I’m gay, right?”

 

Jenna just shrugged, taking her phone back from a Christine working through the seven stages of grief, and quickly checking her texts. Her gossip groupies all said they knew nothing. “That’s one of the big debating points, actually. The group’s kind of split between you dating Christine, which is the biggest group actually, and you dating Jeremy or Rich- again, people can’t decide- and Christine dating someone else.”   
  
“W-What evidence do they have?”

 

“Eh, not much outside of a bunch of pictures of you guys interacting at rehearsal.” Jenna shrugged again. “Doesn’t seem to deter them, though.”

 

“Wait, all seven of us?” Chloe asked. “What the hell do they have on me, then?”

 

Jenna shifted her attention back to her phone. “Hang on, I’ll check their tags.” 

 

“There are  _ tags _ for each pairing?” Rich said, looking very invested in the ongoing madness. Jake, however, leaned over the table in an attempt to get Jenna’s attention. 

 

“Do they, uh, know about those of us who  _ are _ dating?” Jake asked nervously.

 

Jenna shook her head. “All the pictures are just of you guys interacting with Christine, which makes it pretty one-sided. Honestly, I’m just amazed at how often Christine wears that jean jacket,” she said as she handed the phone to Chloe.

 

“It’s a good jacket!” Christine pouted. “Don’t shame me like this!” 

 

As Chloe shook her head and muttered in disbelief (“That was a  _ platonic Pinkberry date, _ why are you  _ soiling _ it,”) Michael leaned in to address Jenna. “Do we know who runs this?”

 

Jenna sighed. “I’ve asked around, but none of my sources seem to know. I don’t think anyone at this school actually follows it, which makes tracking this person down a lot harder. I’m working on it, though, so I can get them to stop.”

 

“Get them to stop?” Christine asked, causing everyone to look at her.

 

“...yeah?” Jenna questioned. “Do you... not want this to stop?”

 

“Are you kidding? I think it’s hilarious!” Christine said excitedly, hands starting to flap as she spoke. “All these random people, placing bets on who I’m dating even though I’m not dating anyone and probably never will, and a lot of them apparently think I’m dating Michael, which, wow, no offense Michael but you’re pretty clearly gay and I’m probably aroace, and that just wouldn’t work at all.” She took a break to inhale. “But yeah, it’s funny because they’re all going to be so disappointed!”

 

Jenna stared at her for a moment, processing, before slowly shrugging. “I... guess you can see it that way.”

 

Christine, now almost bouncing with energy, leaned in to the table a little. “I wanna make it more confusing,” she said quietly. “I wanna see how far I can take this madness.”

 

Then, she shot back abruptly into her seat. “Is that okay with you all?” she asked happily, as if she hadn’t just gone all ‘here’s my evil plot’ on the table as a whole. 

 

Everyone stared at her for a moment, before slowly nodding.

 

“Great!” she said, before pulling out her ipad and starting to tap away.

 

The table awkwardly returned to its natural state, and if Christine noticed everyone glancing at her out of the corners of their eyes, she didn’t say anything.

 

\----

 

The last few weeks had been incredible, as far as Christine was concerned. She’d made a point of interacting with Michael more at rehearsals, but also of having more public one-on-one time with everyone else. She’d track down Jeremy or Brooke in the hallways between classes, she’d been going to the mall a lot more recently, (and never alone,) and she’d even convinced Rich (the only one who found it as funny as she did) to hold her hand during lunch one day.

 

The effect on the blog (whos-this-nerd-even-dating.tumblr.com) had been astounding. The flamewars were getting more severe, and the relationships people were vouching for became more extensive. There were two big three-way polyamorous ones going (her, Jeremy and Michael and her, Jake, and Rich, because people had somehow picked up on them dating even if they were never in the same pictures) and there were even a few people arguing that all the girls were dating each other. The Christine/Michael people were digging their heels in against the tirade, and since Chloe and Jenna were a lot more uncomfortable with feeding the fire, and thus had told Christine they’d like to be left out of it, those ships were starting to die off. Other, non-Christine related ship wars were starting to develop too.

 

Oh, and hilariously, no one knew their names. Christine was called ‘bubbly nerd’ and people mostly used their own names for everyone else, which led to comments like ‘i knooow you tHINK that headphones nerd isnt gay, but I know a pride patch when i see one!’ and ‘scrunchie is CLEARLY not dating Jock Extra #7, she’s dating cardigan man!’ and ‘i will argue for striped twink/burny boy until the universe explodes’ and ‘QUEEN BITCH/LEGALLY BLONDE/BUBBLY NERD IS OTP AND THIS IS THE HILL I WILL DIE ON.’

 

It was absolutely beautiful.

 

But Christine knew this wasn’t going to last forever. She was going to have to take it to a ridiculous conclusion.

 

Just as soon as Jenna figured out who was taking the pictures.

 

\----

 

**Thegossipgoddess:** i shouldve known

 

**Borntoact:** ????

 

**Thegossipgoddess:** its Madeleine

 

**Thegossipgoddess:** its fucking Madeleine

 

**Borntoact:** running the blog?

 

**Borntoact:** youre sure?

 

**Thegossipgoddess:** yeah im sure Tessa saw her posting something in the school library to the blog like,,,, 5 minutes ago?

 

**Thegossipgoddess:** what do you want to do with this knowledge?

 

Christine sat back and thought for a few minutes, pulling up the blog and scrolling through the most recent pictures as she did. A plan began to form in her head.

 

**Borntoact:** hey Jenna?

 

**Borntoact:** yknow that skirt you wore to school last Thursday?

 

**Thegossipgoddess:** yeah?

 

**Borntoact:** think it would fit me?

 

\----

 

Madeleine was so fucking screwed.

 

What were her followers going to make of  _ this? _

  
The  _ this _ in question was Christine’s outfit today, and. Oh boy.

 

One of Brooke’s most loved beanies sat atop her head, she was wearing a tanktop she knew Rich had been seen in at least five times and that was definitely Jake’s letterman. Those were weed socks that were identical to the ones Michael wore practically every day and- were those a pair of Jeremy’s shoes? Jenna wore that skirt Thursday, she knew that, and  _ that was the necklace that Chloe had worn for two weeks straight after Brooke gave it to her as a 3 month anniversary gift, oh god how’d she even get that? _

 

Madeleine was suddenly so afraid that Christine had somehow found her tumblr. But, she stamped her panic down, and captured a quick picture to post online when Christine stopped at her locker. Christine had stood at an angle where she could capture the entire outfit. The angle was perfect. Too perfect.

 

Madeleine pushed the fear down again.

 

\----

 

The flamewars the Outfit to End All Outfits began was  _ insane, _ to put it mildly. Christine barely got any homework done that night, too busy staring, enthralled, as people argued each other in circles to try and figure out what to make of it.

 

But homework was important, and Christine was tired, and she didn’t want this to go too far. She’d approach Madeleine tomorrow.

 

\----

 

By 10pm the following night, whos-this-nerd-even-dating was deactivated. Its last post was a video about two minutes long.

 

_ Hey everyone. I know you’ve all been spending the last few months trying to figure out which of my friends I’ve been dating. Don’t worry, I’m not freaked out or mad or anything. I kinda wish the person running this blog had told me about it, but it’s not that big a deal. _

 

_ What is that big a deal is this. _

 

_ I’m... not actually dating any of them! Surprise! You’ve been arguing about nothing this whole time, because I’m aroace. Some of them are dating each other, but I’m not going to say who, since that’s not my business, or yours, for that matter. _

 

_ So, thanks for taking such an investment in my nonexistent love life! And hey, at least you got to hear me talk before this all got shut down. _

 

_ But seriously, please stop tearing each other to pieces over this. Just let people be. _

 

_ Bubbly Nerd is out, everyone. Parting is such sweet sorrow. _

**Author's Note:**

> edit: remembered i drew The Outfit To End All Outfits, it's here: https://herecomesanart.tumblr.com/post/170783827490/i-uh-forgot-i-drew-this-context


End file.
